"How's the new job?" "I'm glad you asked...."

Six weeks in to the new job and here is a short synopsis of situations involving students on my caseload so far:

Day Two: 
Student described in a meeting as "ruining every class he was in last year" is expelled for bringing 5" knife, being high, long track record of bullying.
Student in wheelchair drives chair off the curb, chair falls over, student bleeds extensively from the head, I call the firefighters/paramedics, student goes to ER.
Student who is undocumented,homeless, schizophrenic, spent the summer in psychiatric ward, shows up unexpectedly at school.

The Next Week:
I meet the the family of one of my students-they are a prominent local family half of whom are in prison having been convicted of murdering a local journalist
6'2" deaf blind student strips completely in the teacher's mail room. Student is swinging at petite aide who is trying to get his clothes back on him. Big 'safety officers' will not help her as they say "we're not trained for that". I help her get him dressed.

Week After That:
The parent of one of my students disrupts a meeting, causes a scene and is banned from campus for 6 days.
Student with Down syndrome is caught sneaking back on to campus having left in the middle of period to buy a grilled cheese sandwich which he hides behind his back. When I question him about it he tells me "It's not a sandwich it's a back warmer". I give him detention. Later on he tells me "I've got some bad news I don't think you're a good fit for me"

Last Week:
Undocumented student is accused of indecent exposure/masturbating in the library. I have to take his statement.
Vision testing proves so intolerable to one of my students he runs away from my group, kicks the wall, runs up and down the hallway yelling "I just want to have fun! Who here just wants to have fun?" , tries to start a revolution but is voted down by the rest of the students.
Student with Down syndrome figures out he can buy me extremely easily with coffee. On Friday morning he brings me a latte and gives me a hug.


Today is Monday but there were no students, it was a training day. Don't worry. I'll have more tales from the dark side soon enough.