Weird science

Who doesn't love to malign a conspiracy theorist? One of my husbands once told me that "everyone who gets a flu shot gets a chip embedded into them that makes them conform to the government". I asked him if he had gotten a flu shot and he told me that he had. I pointed out the obvious; that as a drug-using alcoholic who had never held a full-time job in his life he was not a poster child for 'government conformity'. (Sadly I still feel that story says more about me and my terrible taste in men than outrageous conspiracy theories).

I know a conspiracy story when I hear one. However... with each new development in my life, as things get worse and worse instead of better and better, I have become convinced that my life is not, in fact, my own. I believe I am living in some kind of giant laboratory and that I am the subject of a lifelong experiment-a stress test-the goal of which is to see how much one person can tolerate before running through the streets naked and screaming. I am not the only test subject. When you eventually and inevitably see me running naked and screaming down the street, don't feel sorry for me, because I stuck it out longer than the guy that made the Kony 2012 video, and Charlie Sheen (although that's debatable as he has already made a fantastic comeback), so I'm a WINNER.