Back in court...again...

I was back in court this morning. (Actually technically it was yesterday morning as it's now 1am). I'm pretty sure I have enough courtroom hours at this point to have de facto passed the bar. I was expecting to be appointed to the bench today, but surprisingly it didn't happen.
After four years of this case dragging on, and on, etc, I made a giant breakthrough today.
I stopped channeling 'Rumpole of the Bailey' when talking in court! I was able to make my point (I hope) without saying things like "Let the record show, your honor, that this was clearly a ploy to besmirch my character!".
Can I just say; 'besmirching one's character', as a turn of phrase, has no place in a California court room. Anyway, I think everyone was relieved that I was speaking in an almost normal way today. When the lawyer of He Who Must Not Be Named called me out of the courtroom to go over their ridiculous proposals, I might have been a little too normal with him, perhaps. Satan's attorney was going over the issues he and his client disagreed with, such as the mediator's proposal that HWMNBN get therapy (because, oh I don't know, he's MENTAL?), and their latest idea; that HWMNBN and I take a coparenting class together and I had to jump in with "Absolutely not-but I know you're going to bring it up in court anyway so you go ahead and knock yourself out. In all the years you've been dragging this out you haven't gotten anything you've asked for yet; but you just keep on trucking."
We went back into court and I was mildly entertained when Satan's Attorney tried to clarify to the judge a point made by his client; namely that our issues were all a result of me being a communist and a socialist. I felt like President Obama trying to pass universal health care.