BOLLOX

Unfuckingbelievable. We were broken into AGAIN. This time the thieves made off with a rich haul including my crappy computer, my ancient stereo (it had a cassette player. I'm not lying.), the second hand x-box I got my kids for christmas, and my $50 dvd player.

This being the second time this has happened (refer to blog posting 'what I did last summer') I've had enough. I waited until 11pm for the police officer to actually come over and view my trashed house, then til 1.30am for the evidence dude to show up with his fluffy make-up brush and special fingerprint tape. He told me he got some good prints, which I am pretty sure are from my kids (watch them storm my house and arrest my kids for robbery...) When you live in the murder capital of your state, robberies already comitted are low on the totem pole.
I decided I would move to a better neighborhood until I was informed by the good folks at ADT home alarm systems Who Protect The White House And Fort Knox that I failed the credit check and so could not purchase an alarm system from them.
If I can't pass a credit check for a $30 a month alarm system, obviously I'm not going to pass any rental credit checks.
At this juncture I'm trying to develop some kind of solar-powered vat of boiling oil which would be always ready to drop from my roof onto any intruder.
It just makes sense.