Free willy

We have a kid in our classroom who's a ninja.
I'm not even kidding-he's stealthy, silent, and he can escape and steal things right in front of a staff of five undetected. Last week in the game room he pulled a family-sized bottle of mustard out of his crotch that he had stolen from our fridge in the classroom possibly hours before. ( And he was wearing skinny jeans. Don't ask, because I just don't know.) Another time one of the staff ordered a pizza and when it arrived he couldn't find his $15. Eventually L pulled $5 out of his armpit, and we discovered he had torn the $10 into tiny tiny pieces and thrown it in the trash-and we had all been sitting right there the whole time.
I did wonder if L in fact possesed a cloak of invisibility. I kept that theory to myself.
One morning he came to school with random pairs of boxer shorts secreted about his person. When he started pulling them out, T, who lives in the same group home as L, said " Hey that's my chonies!"
Yesterday, S accompanied L to the bathroom, but didn't watch L close enough (probably because S's girlfriend works in the classroom next to the bathrooms). When L came out, he had shredded his boxer shorts and was wearing them over his jeans like a grass skirt. ( We made L dance the hula when he came back to class).
Today we thought we saw him steal something-we saw the hand go into the crotch, the hiding place of choice. Staff members B and S stood over him and said "L! Take it out! Take it out right now!" L covered his face and shrieked like a girl. This is completely typical for him.
"L-take it out RIGHT NOW!" said B. She already had gloves on because trust me, once it's been down there you don't want to touch it.
Well all I'll say is this. L did eventually get 'it' out, B and S got a good look at it, and sadly he hadn't actually stolen anything.