Miss Popularity

Thanks to the miracle that is Facebook, I've been tracking down some of my fabulous friends from Before. I don't know why, I'm no longer a player in that league, having embraced whole-heartedly the Obese White Trash lifestyle of my adopted country, but I guess I still yearn for the old days in Paris, London and New York.

So I found an old friend of mine, an aspiring writer when I knew him sixteen years ago. He lives in New York now, he's on facebook; a glamorous black and white photo of him looking not a day older than the last time I saw him, first name and last, it was definitely him. I send a 'friend request' and...much to my surprise, I do not hear back from him. There are many reasons why this might be, I tell myself. Maybe he's on assignment somewhere where there is no internet ( where is that exactly?) Maybe he doesn't check his facebook very often/ever ( ok but facebook sends you an email every time someone sends you a message and who doesn't check their emails?) Maybe the dog ate his homework and the check is in the mail. Maybe he's married now and his wife is insanely jealous because he's secretly in love with me, or maybe, ( and this one seems by far the most likely) he's just too intimidated by my phenomenal success to get in touch with me.