Letters from the homefront

I made the trip back to the Mother Country to help my poor old mum and dad. Mum is in the hospital, so I have been looking after dear old dad.

This morning I woke up to a bang, a crash and a cry. I raced downstairs to find an overturned chair and dad sprawled on the floor.

"I fell down" my dad said.

"I see" I said, trying to compose my thoughts.

"What time did you get in last night?" said my dad, from the kitchen floor.

"Um, about twelve.."

"Oh that's not so bad then is it? How was the play?" My dad asked. I briefly considered telling my dad about the part in the four hundred year old play where the cast started dancing to Beyonce's 'All the single ladies' but then reality kicked in and I realised he was still on the floor...

"Er, it was alright.....would you like to get up?"

"That's a good idea!"

I picked him up, and the chair, and the milk, and on we went.

The Youth are revolting

Of the many announcements over the loud speaker at school today, this one was my favorite by far:
"Any student found with an explosive device will be arrested, suspended for five days and recommended for expulsion. I repeat, any student found carrying an explosive device will be arrested, suspended for five days and recommended for expulsion."

Because those who can't, are busy diffusing explosives...

New Year, new life...

So I took an extended break from my blog, but, after much clamoring from my tens of followers; I'M BACK. Let's just say you can't keep the drama and the nonsense out of my life, so you may as well read about it here.
You all (both) will be thrilled to hear that my marriage has finally been annulled; I am now officially single (apart from the 1984 wedding in New Dehli but let's just let bygones be bygones shall we?).
How my life has changed this past year. I'm down to one cat; the other suffered a heart attack during July 4th celebrations-my neighborhood gives Bosnia a run for its money and the cat thought she was in a war zone and keeled over and died. :(
On the bright side this reduces the possibility that I will one day be knitting sweaters with cat hair, as it's a slow process gathering hair for yarn from just one cat.
My son moved to Oregon, he might be back in June; it's hard to know with his Ever-Changing Plan.
I have to host a French Exchange student next month. I am greatly looking forwards to this as my housekeeping skills are legendary among men, and needless to say my Christmas Tree is still up and twinkling as I write...

Cable news

Another Saturday night. I'm watching Pirates of The Carribean, just me and the cats. My daughter is in her room reading, what's up with that? Hasn't she ever heard of TV, cable, computers? Technology? What the hell????

I remember this movie; I took my kids to the midnight premiere and fell asleep. How is it that I have 100 channels and everything is so boring?

In the 'free' section on craigslist...

"My Betta fish, Dalton, needs a home for the Summer and beyond (I'm moving to Canada and I don't think he'll survive the trip). He's named after Patrick Swayze's character from the masterpiece film Road House. Dalton is very easy to take care of, just some food everyday and his water changed every now and then. He comes with food, and other betta/fish supplies. Let me know if you want him!"

Um, really? A masterpiece? A fish named after Patrick Swayze? Canada? Issues on so many levels...

Holiday Spirit

St Patrick's Day tomorrow. Should I take down the Christmas tree now?

It still has a faint smell of pine and lights are so twinkly....

Birthday Accomplishments

My son celebrated a birthday yesterday; he is nineteen now. In spite of the fact that he has dropped out of school and has no job I am trying to Always Look on The Bright Side of Life, because I live in America now, where everything is awesome. So, my facebook status yesterday;
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY________, 19 AND STILL WALKING UPRIGHT".
There's always something to celebrate if you look hard enough.