What a loser.
Seriously, when I hear 'Phd in Chemistry from Princeton', I of course think 'slacker who went to a party school to get drunk and meet chicks'-right? I think they just invited me to elevate the tone of the event. Their friends weren't that bright either.
When I got home, I found that the cats had dragged one of my favorite socks into the litter box (to serve as a shit blanket?), and that the reason I couldn't wash the smell of blue cheese off my hands was that the blue cheese had fallen down my cleavage and was lodged in my bra. I decided not to wash, but instead to go to work today smelling of eau de fromage just to serve everyone right who can afford to get a massage.
Yes, this is the mature work ethic that got me where I am today, in case you were wondering.