Poetry Corner

I was idly trying to chat with a friend on facebook, when I realised I had written a marvellous poem.

hello.

I'm siiting here waiting for meals on wheels to call me back

it's exciting

my life is so glamorous

i'm afraid to go to the loo in case i miss the call

my dad sys he will have his bath once he has digested his lunch.

when will that be?

who knows.

unsolved mystery

How talented I am; I never cease to amaze myself...

Lean cuisine

When I cook someone a meal, and before they've even tasted it they add a tablespoon of salt and two tablespoons of butter, I think "So that's what happened to the E.U Butter Mountain I was always hearing about in the seventies; my dad ate it..."

Letters from the homefront

I made the trip back to the Mother Country to help my poor old mum and dad. Mum is in the hospital, so I have been looking after dear old dad.

This morning I woke up to a bang, a crash and a cry. I raced downstairs to find an overturned chair and dad sprawled on the floor.

"I fell down" my dad said.

"I see" I said, trying to compose my thoughts.

"What time did you get in last night?" said my dad, from the kitchen floor.

"Um, about twelve.."

"Oh that's not so bad then is it? How was the play?" My dad asked. I briefly considered telling my dad about the part in the four hundred year old play where the cast started dancing to Beyonce's 'All the single ladies' but then reality kicked in and I realised he was still on the floor...

"Er, it was alright.....would you like to get up?"

"That's a good idea!"

I picked him up, and the chair, and the milk, and on we went.

The Youth are revolting

Of the many announcements over the loud speaker at school today, this one was my favorite by far:
"Any student found with an explosive device will be arrested, suspended for five days and recommended for expulsion. I repeat, any student found carrying an explosive device will be arrested, suspended for five days and recommended for expulsion."

Because those who can't, are busy diffusing explosives...